Supporting marriage means everybody’s marriage
May 2, 2013 § 2 Comments
Recently someone asked me if I supported “Gay marriage” and I thought long and hard before answering. Not because I didn’t know how I felt about it but because the question itself carries a seed of evil I don’t think the asker was aware of. You see, when she asked about “Gay marriage” she was somehow implying that there are at least two kinds of marriage, gay and something else, and I really don’t think that’s true. Or at least, it oughtn’t be.
So I thought about marriage, all of its pros and cons, its defenders and detractors and decided that marriage itself is an issue ripe for debate, but who gets to do it, who gets to get married? I really don’t think we should be having that discussion.
In fact, I think it’s a waste of time and money and resources to have all these people running around rallying and lobbying for something that should and will eventually be legal because no judicial argument, no administrative technicality and no close-minded governmental directive can outlast reality.
Because here’s the thing about gay marriage: it already exists. People get married when they decide to love one another, when they decide to build a life together and be a family. That is already happening all over the place.
What seems to be a hot topic is whether that union ought to be legally recognized and given official status by competent authorities and I find that to be an insulting debate. I think it’s disrespectful and mean because, as a straight person, you have options when it comes to homosexuality: you can choose not to partake in it, you can choose to not like it and you can even be a little freaked out by it, or a tiny bit scared or get uncomfortable around it, and that’s…understandable-ish.
But what you don’t get to do is pretend it doesn’t exist and legislate like it shouldn’t exist because that’s…well, rude. We’re not talking about a kid’s imaginary friend; we are talking about our neighbor’s and friends and family. They exist and their marriages exist and it’s unfair and petty to say otherwise. It makes people trust their government less and hate their neighbors more. And denying legal status to all the marriages that already exist just because the partners involved in it have the same genitalia is not making anyone sleep better at night, it’s not making anyone’s neighborhood safer or schools better or healthcare more accessible.
So no, I don’t really support gay marriage anymore than I support Shy Marriage or Big-Nosed Marriage or Fat Marriage. I support marriage and anyone and everyone’s right to do it or not. Kind of like perms and tattoos: sometimes it might be a bad idea but it shouldn’t be illegal for you to figure that out for yourself.